Reddit user candybar2233 turned to the subreddit “amithea–hole” to share a heartbreaking story about losing his daughter to Leukemia and the unfortunate treatment he received from family members as he managed his grief.
The father wonders if he’s in the wrong for donating his daughter’s unopened birthday presents after her death. In the Reddit post, the father explains that his daughter was admitted to the hospital the day before her birthday because her cancer unexpectedly spread to her brain. Choosing to be optimistic about her condition, she decided not to open her presents until she was home from the hospital.
One week later, his daughter sadly passed away before getting to open her presents. The dad wrote that a few days after his daughter’s death, his family came over to help him make a photo board and slideshow for his daughter’s funeral. Upon seeing the unopened gifts, he explained that his sister suggested that the dad give them to her twin daughters since it was their birthday in two weeks. This didn’t sit well with him. He wrote that he “wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing my nieces are using gifts that were meant for my daughter.”
The man told his sister that if he were to do anything with the gifts, he would donate them to the children’s hospital. That comment annoyed the sister and she called him “selfish” and said that the gifts should stay “in the family instead of going to complete strangers.”
People in the comments were sympathetic to the dad and his right to grieve in his own way. One user wrote that the dad is allowed to grieve in whatever way he wants and as soon as he said he was uncomfortable with the thought of his nieces having the gifts, they should have listened to him.
A second user commented that they think that the dad donating the presents to other sick kids is a beautiful way to honor his daughter, while another empathized with the dad’s situation by sharing their own story of grieving a loved one. “My Dad passed away less than two years ago and we still have his shoes by the back door,” the wrote.
“We have only just started donating his clothes to Hospice charities.” According to an article by certified life coach and YourTango Expert Lisa Petsinis, donating to a charity is in fact a healthy way to mourn after losing someone you love.