Raising kids can be one of the hardest tasks to undertake, especially when it comes to raising a teenager. Although all stages of cold care come with their own challenges, raising a teenager is a different ball game. A Redditor with the username Suspicious-Room5169 shared an encounter she witnessed with her teen daughter and their nanny.
Suspicious-Room5169 took her teen's troubling story to the AITA community in December 2021 to verify if her mode of punishment was too extreme. The Redditor shared how she surprisingly walked in on her daughter being rude to the nanny. The mom also detailed the punishment she and her husband gave their teenage daughter for her behavior and asked other users if they were wrong.
Before diving into the story, the Reddit user gave a backstory of how she and her husband trained their children. She revealed that they had three children: a 13-year-old daughter, Bea, a 10-year-old son, Paul, and an 8-year-old daughter named Zoe. The OP (original poster) continued that her husband grew up privileged and was also doing a good job taking care of them. To that effect, their family could afford anything they wanted and was never in want.
OP further explained that she was appreciative of all her husband did and "have always made sure to let my kids know that we are very lucky and very spoiled." The mom added:
"I've always had my kids pack up clothes or things they've outgrown and we donate them to those that need them more. I thought I was doing a good thing and teaching them to have empathy and understanding of just how lucky we are."
However, it appeared her lessons were not taken seriously by one of her kids. She chipped in, "Well I guess I failed as a mother." The Redditor gave an insight into her personal life and that of her husband in an edit. She revealed that she grew up in need of the services provided by the youths. She explained:
"I lived in foster care when times were okay and lived wherever I could when times were really bad. I worked my butt off to give myself something of a decent life and worked until I became a mother."
The Redditor also shared that, in contrast, her husband grew up with wealthy parents, and her mother-in-law never "worked a day in her life." The OP's father-in-law unfortunately died when her now teenage daughter, Bea, was almost 6 weeks old. She continued that her mother-in-law never liked kids and was not involved in her children's lives.
She continued that unlike her husband's family members, who were "extremely spoiled brats," her husband was “sweet, loving and understanding.” The Redditor also added that growing up, her husband spent a lot of time with his nanny and "always really valued what she gave him."
OP further relayed that although they were in low contact with her MIL, she suddenly became interested in their first daughter when she turned 13. She wrote:
"Hubby and I agree that it's something we will be keeping an eye on and he will try to have a conversation with his mom about it."
After giving a backstory of her family, the mother-of-three related the story of her teen daughter's astonishing actions.
She explained:
"I came home early a few days ago and walked into the house to hear my eldest screaming at our nanny. She was screaming, "youre a maid, that's what we pay you for, to clean up after our family, do your job."'
OP added that those words brought the nanny to tears as she later explained that she only asked Bea "to put her dirty clothes in her hamper so she could start laundry." The Redditor was taken aback because the nanny had been a rock for her family for 13 years.
She reacted calmly in front of her daughter and sent her to her room. However, the punishment followed. The mom shared:
“My husband and I decided that as far as punishment goes for our daughter, we will keep her electronics, she will spend her weekends volunteering at the youth center for under privileged kids, she must write a full apology letter to our nanny and she must take care of herself/her chores. My husband and I sat down with her and explained all of this to her….”
OP and her husband decided to watch their daughter for four weeks to see if she understood their point. In retrospect, Bea reported to the OP’s MIL, and her husband's family showed disapproval of the punishment. However, the OP’s family was in support.
Other Reddit users praised the mom for disciplining Bea. Someone wrote, "Actually, it's perfect parenting if you ask me." Another commented, "She overstepped in a tremendously cruel way, and now she gets to deal with the consequences of that. Well done, I think you did a great job." “Another person stated, "You need to make clear MIL has no say in how you raise your children," and indicated that she was not in the wrong.
Do you agree with the Redditor's mode of punishment? What do you think of the Redditor's parenting style? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to others.