Some say friendship between men and women does exist, while others claim it’s a lie. Our reader’s girlfriend has a male best friend, Michael, who recently gave her a gift that was too romantic. Our reader is feeling jealous and thinks he might be crossing into “more than friends” territory. Single Michael seems a bit too excited about his girlfriend.
Talk to Michael.
If you feel comfortable, try talking to Michael directly. Make sure to do this with respect, try to understand his intentions rather than accuse him. Perhaps their relationship is based only on friendship and not his love interest. Let him know that you found the gift inappropriate and ask him to keep it simple next time.
You might also want to hang out with them for a while. If he’s just a friend, your girlfriend will be fine with that. However, if she insists that she wants to be with him alone, it’s a little red flag.
Ask your girlfriend to put herself in your shoes.
Ask your girlfriend how she would feel if the situation were reversed, and you received a similar gift from a close female friend. Let her know that you trust her and value her friendship with Michael, but mention how uncomfortable you felt.
Discuss the boundaries that both of you are comfortable with in the context of opposite-gender friendships. This way you’ll establish a mutual understanding and avoid possible misunderstandings.
Find a compromise.
Discuss your biggest concerns with your girlfriend. Find out what exactly makes you jealous — perhaps it’s the way he acts when he’s around your girlfriend or something else. See if there are other ways that Michael can express his friendship without making you feel so uneasy. Maybe more casual gifts or activities that include you as well will be a better option.
Work on your relationship.
Find out why your girlfriend needs to meet up with Michael. Try to identify what makes her want to be around him — perhaps it’s his sense of humor or kindness. Bring the same things to your relationship. And she will need less of Michael’s attention in the future because she gets all the feelings and experiences she needs from you.
It takes a lot of work to build and maintain a healthy relationship. In this article, one of our readers wanted to check if her boyfriend was committed enough. She faked an emergency, her boyfriend passed the test, but now their relationship is ruined.