The days leading up to Christmas were always a flurry of activity and preparation at our home.
Our child Tim was quickly giving up his own obligations in the hopes that his sister Emily would take care of him because he had been imitating his father Mike’s reluctance to help around the house.
As the holidays approached, I reasoned that now was the right moment to address the issue and teach them a lesson.
I called Mike and Tim on a chilly evening shortly before Christmas while I was out running errands. I informed them that I needed their help getting the house cleaned in time for our Christmas visitors.
I made a point of keeping our house immaculate for our visitors.
I assigned them the task of tidying, doing the vacuum, and ensuring that everything was in its proper place.
Time was of the essence, so I told them I needed them to finish cleaning up before I returned to my house in about two hours.
I trusted them to take on the job of getting the house spotless for our guests, so I sent them off to complete their chores and went about my errands.
But when I got back home later that evening, I saw an awful sight. The state of housekeeping was appalling. Things appeared considerably more disorganized than they did when I had left.
I was annoyed since it didn’t appear like Tim or Mike were sincere about what I wanted.
Rather than getting angry or frustrated, I decided to approach the issue differently. I summoned Mike and Tim informally from the living room, where they were standing looking lost and like they were about to get into serious trouble.
I made a point of saying that in our home, teamwork and the division of labor are very important.
I made it clear that Emily couldn’t do the entire load because it was unfair to expect her to.
Then I made my plan public. I got Mike and Tim to put on their coats and announced that we were going for a drive. We exchanged a bewildered glance, but in the end they gave in and joined me in the car.
We arrived at a local homeless shelter as I remained silent the entire trip.
I turned to Mike and Tim and told them that we were not dealing with the same challenges as the residents of this shelter.
For many of them, the absence of a dry, safe place to live presented a challenge.
I wanted them to see firsthand how appreciative we are to having a house and how crucial it is to keep it tidy and welcoming for both ourselves and our visitors.
The importance of working together as a team and being mindful of their environment are concepts I hoped they would grasp.
We all pitched in to clean up the common spaces and feed the homeless that night at the shelter.
For the sake of our guests and as an act of gratitude for what we had, Mike and Tim learned the hard way how important it is to keep the place clean and inviting.
I could see they had changed their minds by the time we got home that night.
The value of empathy, accountability, and teamwork was very clear to them.
Beyond the obvious benefit of a spotless home, they had gained an invaluable lesson on the value of kindness and appreciation.
Mike and Tim started pitching in more around the house after that, and our family was able to weather the storm.
The lesson I had imparted to them about the enduring power of Christmas is a poignant reminder, particularly in this season of giving, of the significance of unity and mutual care.