A woman thought that having her MIL visit her home for the first time would be something to celebrate, but she was mistaken. After a carefully planned and elaborate meal, she accidentally overheard her MIL and husband talking outside. She was so stunned by what her MIL said that she turned to social media to tell her story and see if anyone else had gone through a similar situation.
“Hubbie and I have been together for 15 years. We both work full-time and share the chores at home. I cook, and he does the dishes. My MIL adores her son and, in her eyes, no one is good enough for him.
We’ve never lived in the same city. The first time she visited our home I cooked my best dinner, 4 courses, nice drinks — the whole works to impress her. After dessert and coffee, my husband started taking the dishes to the sink and washed them, while still making small conversation with my MIL and myself (I was exhausted after a day of work and cooking).
The moment my husband’s hands touched the water, my MIL’s face changed. Her mouth twisted, and she started mumbling and breathing weirdly. She apologized and walked out. I thought she just had gone outside to take a moment, so I went to lie down in my bed. I was about to lie down when I heard my husband consoling his mom, as she was crying. She didn’t know that I went to my room and could hear them.”
She started sobbing about all the sacrifices she made to give him a good life, that she never thought she would see him washing dishes, that she had raised him better than this. She claimed I broke her heart for making him do house chores. My husband is the best man ever, he has an incredible sense of humor, and he found the whole situation risible.
He started laughing very loudly and asked her to stop the drama. He told her that they had just had one of the best home-cooked dinners of their lives, that I had worked very hard to have a nice dinner, and that crying over some dishes was infantile. He went as far as tickling his mom to stop her crying.
That first visit set the tone of the relationship between my MIL and me. She hates me, dislikes my daughters, and, over time, spends less and less time with her son. Last I heard, she wants my husband to travel (we live in a different country now) to her place, so she can put her affairs in order, as she claims she will die soon and wants to leave in peace. My husband kindly told her that she should spend her wealth and that she doesn’t need him to write a will.
Can anyone else relate?”
In the comments, some people said they lived through similar experiences:
- Your hubby sounds amazing! My ex-MIL once disrespected me because she walked into the kitchen to find her son washing dishes while I was “just lying about.” I had literally just come in from the other side of the kitchen after going to pee How dare I fail her precious boy by making him wash the dishes. © Rue-Cane / Reddit
- That’s whack! My MIL said when my husband comes home from work, I should NEVER tell him I’ve had a bad day or anything negative because he’s “so stressed at work.” That I should just say, “Hello darling, how are you? Everything is great,” and smile. Oh, and that I should iron his underwear and the kids’ clothes. © sakura7777 / Reddit
- My grandmother used to get mad about the fact that my husband would cook dinner for me when he worked night shifts and sometimes on his days off. At the time, I got off work at the exact time that if I hustled home, we would have time to eat together, but only if dinner was ready. Not sure how I was expected to have dinner ready if I was also expected (by her) to be at work.
It also bothered her that he helped me clean the house, and I helped mow the lawn because it didn’t fit her now 91-year-old gender roles. I think some of it was jealousy because she literally would have to leave sliced kielbasa and cheese for my grandfather if she wasn’t going to be home by his dinner time because he was that spoiled. © sewedherfingeragain / Reddit
- We’re in the same situation with jobs and splitting chores. My MIL went so far as to tell me I needed to quit my job and take better care of her son. I held back telling her that I earn 30% more than him since that probably wouldn’t have helped things. My extra income means we can live in an area she can’t afford to live anywhere near us, rentals included, so huge win for us! © CreekNotCrick / Reddit
Other people took time to recognize the husband’s attitude:
- Your husband sounds wonderful. He turned out that well despite his upbringing, not because of it. © Unknown user / Reddit
- The husband is definitely a keeper. © Lauranna90 / Reddit
- I think you have a healthy relationship. When you’re in it together, 50-50 is reasonable. The way he handles her though! © Tkay906363 / Reddit
Having issues with someone in the family is common, and it’s not just with MILs. A woman saw her relationship with her stepmom gradually deteriorate due to hurtful antics. After a while, she made the decision to get back at her stepmom, and their relationship finally hit a dramatic standstill.