Understanding your sexuality doesn’t happen overnight, and for many, it’s a lifelong journey. And while LGBTQ+ celebrities often serve as an inspiration for fans, and it can be easy to forget those celebs weren't always out and proud. Some LGBTQ+ actors, musicians, and other public figures explored their sexuality in private for years before coming out to the public because — while sometimes you have a lightbulb moment — discovering you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community can also be a gradual realization. Celebrity quotes about realizing they’re LGBTQ+ prove every journey is distinct.
"Coming out, or 'inviting in,' looks different for everyone, as we all have our unique paths to understand and to accept ourselves with relation to our gender and sexual identities," Jor-El Caraballo, co-creator of holistic wellness center Viva Wellness and a therapist specializing in LGBTQ+ clients, previously told Elite Daily. Likewise, everyone’s first experiences with exploring and challenging their identities are one-of-a-kind.
While it’s totally up to everyone to decide what parts of their life (if any) they want to share with the world, you may just find solace in these candid quotes from LGBTQ+ stars who understand that confusion and experimentation are part of the process — as are peace, love, and joy.
When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am. This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, ‘This is a huge sign.’ I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.
For me, sexuality and sexual identity and fluidity is a journey. It's not a destination. I've discovered so much about myself over the years as I've evolved and grown and spent time with myself and loved ones. That's the exciting thing — always finding out new things about who you are. And that's what I love about life. It takes us on journeys that not even we ourselves sometimes are prepared for. You just adapt to where you are and how you've evolved as a free-thinking person.
— Janelle Monáe to them. in April 2019
When I started to come into my sexuality, I was around 19 or 20 years old — and I’m only 22 now. So part of me did almost feel like, ‘I’m too late; I should have known this about myself,’ and I wasn’t validating myself and I was questioning myself all the time... until I started to talking to people who had similar experiences to me ... The timing of when you realize isn’t important; it’s about the celebration and being able to embrace it. That’s what matters.
— Rebecca Black to Gay Times in April 2020
I’ve always felt the way I’ve felt. It wasn’t a new feeling; it was just the discovery of a language and a community of people that felt the same way. It’s been lovely. It’s been a process of feeling heard and seen — that there is a space that I can live in and enjoy my life in and feel completely like myself, and be treated as such.
— Sam Smith to Bizarre in October 2020
One of the greatest things L.A. has given me is awareness. I realized there’s a spectrum and different ways people identify. I started meeting different people and went, ‘Am I attracted to women? I’ve always felt close to friends who were girls, but is this a thing?’ I only allowed myself to experiment and discover once I realized the possibilities.
It takes a lot of learning to not listen to somebody else in regards to what's beautiful. Because I grew up around these rigid gender roles, when I was 18, 19, my coming-out process was about over-correcting myself in order to fit into this other part of society ... Then at some point, when I was around 22, I just stopped. I was like, 'I'm just going to do whatever I want and I hope that some other people follow suit.’
Once I understood my gender more, which was unassigned, then I understood my sexuality more. I was like, ‘Oh — that’s why I don’t feel straight and I don’t feel gay. It’s because I’m not.’