My husband is the breadwinner and I’m a SAHM
Christmas day of a stay-at-home mom transformed into a nightmare when her husband unwrapped her heartfelt gift and openly criticized her in front of his family, declaring that she had ruined his Christmas.
On December 27, 2021, an anonymous female poster took to the “AITA” subreddit to recount her story.
Here’s the full story
“My (F29) husband (M33) is the breadwinner and I’m a sahm. We used to both work but due to medical problems I couldn’t keep working. As a result I don’t have what they call fun money or money to spend however I want.
My husband gives me money only to spend on the house or the kids but that’s that. I might borrow money here and there or try to figure something out if I needed essential stuff like hygiene products.
This Christmas my husband gave me $600 dollars as my Christmas gift. I freaked out thinking I now have to get him a decent gift to match his.
So I went shopping and got him the most offordable thing on his wish-list which was a $180 dollar pair of sneakers with his favorite color.
I didn’t show him the gift until we visited his parents house for Christmas and when it was time for gift opening he opened the gift, saw the sneakers and looked extremely extremely upset like he was about to blow up.
I asked what’s up and he asked why “in the blue hell” I decided to “waste money” and get him sneakers aka: the cheapest gift on his wishlist.
I said it’s all I could afford and he literally lashed out and said “bullshit! I gave you $600 dollars that’s about the right price for a new gaming console and it was right there at the top of my whishlist!”.
He said it infront of his parents!! It was so so awkward I felt so horrible I wanted to disappear. But I apologized and said I was sorry but I had other stuff I needed to buy and money wasn’t enough.
He took it as in I was blaming him for not giving me enough money and picked an argument with me about how wasteful and financially irresponsoble I am otherwise I wouldn’t be struggling with money for long.
I disagreed and said I don’t have a salary due to medical issues not being irresponsible.
Also told him he could get the gaming console himself since he has money but he got all dramatic and ranted about how he wouldn’t because then he’ll be judged for getting anything for himself.
His parents tried to get involved but he straightup told me how disappointed he was and said that I ruined his Christmas then went upstairs and avoided talking to me til we got back and the whole argument restarted.
he kept repeating that he was disappointed and that I ruined Christmas for him saying “good job screwing up” even after I pointed out how rude it was of him to react like that infront of his parents.
He’s wanting an apology atm and still upset about what I did. AITA?”
The OP also updated:
“For the record he used to own an xbox but it got broken like 3 years ago and he didn’t want to get himself a new one saying that there are more important things to focus on.
I get why he was disappointed but I argued with him about the kids gifts as well since that matters too. also I bought gifts for family members so I’m not sure if I was right to do that knowing money is tight. my mother in law got a an expensive gift from him and so did the rest of the family.”
The Online Reaction
OP’s Reddit account garnered an overwhelming response online, with the majority of users deeming her “NTA.”
Many opined that her husband’s actions made it crystal clear that he wished to financially exploit her, while others noted that gifts aren’t tokens of reimbursement to claim in return.
