My parents, Jack and Diane, were like the original old couple. Dad, the retired firefighter with a dad joke for every occasion, and Mom, the former librarian who could shush you into next week. They were solid, or so I thought.
I was about 24, minding my own business and dealing with my own dramas, when bam! They sat me down like it was some kind of intervention and announced they were getting a divorce.
I nearly choked on my coffee.
“What?!” I spluttered, trying not to spill my drink everywhere. “But you guys are like the epitome of ’til death do us part’!”
Dad just shrugged, that sheepish grin of his plastered on his face. “Well, even poster children need a change of scenery sometimes.”
And Mom, with her usual scowl, chimed in, “Your father’s snoring is driving me to an early grave.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Mom, you wear earplugs to bed!”
So, they went their separate ways.
Dad moved to some bachelor pad on the edge of town, surrounded by sports memorabilia, and Mom joined a book club that was more about yoga than literature. Life went on like that for a couple of years. Dad’s place became a shrine to ESPN, and Mom’s book club turned into a gossip circle for retirees.
Then, out of nowhere, Dad shows up at Mom’s doorstep one day with a bouquet of flowers and this confused look on his face. «Um, hi, Diane,» he starts, scratching his head like he’s got fleas. «Do I know you?» Mom squints at him, equally puzzled. «You look kinda familiar. Are you selling something?»
I’m standing there with my popcorn, watching this awkward reunion unfold like some kind of sitcom.
Turns out, they both got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Yup, both of them. And they forgot they were divorced. And married, for that matter. Talk about a plot twist.
So, there they were, these two forgetful lovebirds, rediscovering each other like awkward teenagers on a first date. Dad would bring Mom flowers every day, and Mom would eye him suspiciously until she remembered he wasn’t a door-to-door salesman.
Their interactions were straight out of a comedy sketch. Dad would try to woo Mom with his best dad jokes, only to forget the punchline halfway through. And Mom would try to shush him every time he got too loud, only to forget why she was shushing him in the first place.
And me? I’m stuck in the middle of this circus, playing the role of the exasperated daughter trying to keep her parents from burning down the house.
“Dad, stop trying to barbecue in the living room!” I’d yell, snatching the lighter out of his hand.
“But Sarah, I thought I was grilling steaks for your mother,” he’d protest, genuinely puzzled.
Mom would chime in from the other room, “And I thought I smelled something burning!”
It was chaotic, but there was a sweetness to it all. Seeing my parents find happiness in the midst of their forgetfulness reminded me that love truly knows no bounds.
So, here’s to Jack and Diane, the most unforgettable couple in town. May their love endure, even if their memories don’t. And may they never forget that, no matter what, they’ll always have each other.
And as for me, well, I’ll just be over here, watching the show and wondering what other surprises life has in store for the Johnson family. Because let’s face it, with these two, anything is possible.