All it took was for one text for my husband to break our family apart. He did not just betray me but our son as well. Now I am left with breaking the sad news to our son. But I also want to make sure he pays for what he did
It's really breaking my heart to recount what happened, but I am writing this with the hope of getting advice on a way forward. I have been married to my husband, Paul, for 20 years. Over the years, our marriage has become stale for a number of reasons.
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We both worked a lot, and as much as I hate to make it about my appearance, I do think I have aged poorly through the years. Regardless, we have managed to keep our beautiful family together.
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We have two children whom I love with all my heart. Our son, Eric, is in his early twenties, and our daughter, Mary, is in her late teens. Despite the ups and downs of marriage, I look at these two and see them as the greatest achievement of this marriage, and they give me hope to keep going.
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There are many things that I have turned a blind eye to with my husband. After almost two decades and a clear disconnect between us, I knew he was cheating, but for the most part, I tried to suppress my feelings.
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One time I found a thong in our room, and he explained that it might belong to our daughter, which makes no sense. I have noticed his behavior change and found a few concerning videos on his laptop; again, I decided to pretend I did not see anything.
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Our son, Eric, has been with his first love and high school sweetheart, Amy, for a few years now. He absolutely adores her, and we as a family love her too. But the other day, I saw a notification pop up on my husband’s phone from Amy.
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I was interested to see what she had to say to him, but what I did not expect was to see an inappropriate message clearly indicating that they had a romantic relationship. I could not believe my eyes. I froze in place, not knowing what to do with this information, and spent the day trying to convince myself that what I saw was not real.
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Now that I knew who he was cheating on me with, I started to dig deeper and realized that he had saved some of Amy’s pictures on his computer. None of the pictures were concerning; she was fully clothed in all of them, but they definitely confirmed my suspicions.
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But I did not stop there. I waited for an opportunity to go through his phone, and what I saw just continued to break my heart into pieces. I went through their messages and saw the most horrific things said about me. My husband was so vile, calling me fat, ugly, and old, while Amy just laughed the comments off.
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I wish I hadn't looked. I knew Paul and I’s marriage hadn't aged well, but I hoped that as his wife of 20 years and the mother of his children, he would at least respect me enough to not insult me in that way.
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The more I sat with this issue, the more my mind started racing. His infidelity was not just about him betraying me, but he stabbed his own son in the back. I really thought I knew the kind of man I married, but now I wish our paths had never crossed.
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As I look back to the times Amy was at our house, I realize that his behavior around her had been weird, but I never thought it was anything to worry about. The layers of this situation leave me paralyzed by the fear and dread of how this is going to pan out.
Nothing about it makes sense. I cannot believe this happened under my nose, and I had no way of stopping it. It just makes me feel so stupid that I did not see any of it coming. Worst of all, I have to break my son’s heart.
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I cannot imagine the impact it's going to have on his heart and mind. I do not think Eric anticipated that his first love would end with him seeing his father have an affair with his girlfriend. Obviously, this also impacts Mary, who will have to be a bystander when all of this unfolds.
Right now, I am trying to figure out how to confront my husband. I have no idea how to do it because I wish to tell him with a better plan to exit this marriage. There is no way I will continue to be with Paul after such a betrayal.
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I do not know who to turn to first about this; I will be doing my research to find a better way out. One certain thing is that I cannot avoid the pain and heartbreak that will come into my family, but I don't want to have my heart ripped apart and not get anything out of it.
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After speaking to many people from my close circle, I decided to consult with a lawyer on the best way forward. She told me to gather all the evidence, including the screenshots of their conversations, the pictures, and more.
I have gathered everything and put it in an envelope. I am planning on writing a letter to accompany the evidence along with the divorce papers. There are many things at play here, and most of them give me the upper hand. My lawyer guaranteed to fight till the very end until I get every asset in the end.
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What I am still dreading is breaking the news to my son. I know that is something I HAVE to do. I have to stay strong for him and his sister, and I hope that hearing the news from his mother will make it a bit better.
In addition to his father’s betrayal, he has to process that his girlfriend is not the person he thought she was. But Eric has a big heart, and he deserves to have someone who will care and love him.
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After sitting and plotting a way out, I am ready to face the music and see the other side of this horror. I will be taking my children and myself through therapy, and I hope in the end we will look back at this hurdle and see it as something that brought us together and made us stronger.
Here is another story about a husband who cheated on his wife after she gave birth.
Right after I gave birth to our only child, I found out that my husband had been sneaking around with a mistress. The truth shattered my heart into a billion pieces when I discovered the truth, finding myself tangled in a web of betrayal and pain.
I thought we had a healthy and happy marriage until I started noticing the late-night calls, secretive outings, and general changes in his behavior.
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What broke my heart the most was that he strayed while I was postpartum, a time when our family should have been basking in the joy of our new addition. Instead, I was left grappling with a hurt that seemed insurmountable.