A 39-year-old man wrote to us, facing a difficult situation and unable to consult with anyone close to him. The thing is, he secretly read his wife’s diary while she was in a coma, just wanting a piece of his wife, but instead, he learned an unpleasant truth about her.
It all started with a bad accident in the family.
A desperate man, 39, wrote to us and told his absolutely devastating family story. He asked us for no judgement, and he was really hoping to get a piece of advice from us and our readers about his complicated family situation.
He started his letter, saying, «I hope I have written to a right place to get some piece of advice. I can’t talk to anyone about this, and I don’t think I will be able to share my story with my closest family members.»
The man continues, saying that his beloved wife has suffered from a bad accident some time ago. This accident resulted in her being in an 8-day coma. He explained, «When my spouse went into the coma, it is obvious that no one really knew at the time how long it was going to last. I thought that it would be months, and maybe even years, before my wife would ever wake up. I was not even sure if she actually would wake up from that coma, and it felt for me like I had lost her already.»
The man described his feelings at that moment, saying, «I was absolutely broken, I was destroyed with grief and all that uncertainty was killing me. Every day that was passing with no optimistic news just plunged me deeper into despair.»
The man also mentioned that their relationship had been always nearly ideal. He said, «We have been married for 15 years. Together, we have traveled the world. I can say that she’s truly my best friend, and I am hers. I imagined that my life would end if the doctors told me my wife would become brain-dead or that she wouldn’t wake up.»
The man decided to seek some comfort in reading his wife’s diary.
The man revealed that he was totally desperate about the whole situation. One night, he was sitting in their bedroom, and he was feeling very bad about everything.
He wrote, «I felt emotionally and physically drained from it all. That was another day without optimistic news. I decided to lay on her side of the bed because I could feel her smell from the pillows, and it felt comforting to me.»
The man said that his wife used some lotion every night before going to bed, and he opened the drawer to take the bottle with that lotion from there, as he wanted to smell it. Then he saw his wife’s diary there.
He explained, «I have never touched her things before, and I knew about the diary, but I never opened it. That night I just wanted some piece of my beloved, I was suffering a lot. I could’ve reread our old texts or something, but at that time, logical thinking wasn’t my strong point. I know it’s not a good excuse, but it is what it is.»
So, he started to read his wife’s diary. The man revealed that his wife wrote her entries days or months apart. Her diary was started about 4 years ago. And while reading it, the man slowly felt how his hair was standing on end, because of what his beloved wife was writing in her diary.
The man revealed another side of his wife’s personality.
The man wrote, «From the start, I was terrified that almost all of the diary entries were angry ones. They were about female friends or social media followers. My beloved spouse wrote long paragraphs about how they were ugly and not talented and described their every negative trait.»
«She would become absolutely infuriated if a woman ever followed me on social media or if we met some female friend in real life. My wife wrote long pages about each of these women and how she wanted to see their lives destroyed.»
The man revealed that his wife turned to be very angry that he «had all the attention» and didn’t just delete his female followers online. She was furious if a woman followed her husband’s account and didn’t also immediately do the same with her account because «he is my husband, she must respect my feelings and show that she doesn’t have any intentions towards my man.»
The man was totally shocked, and he also understood many things at once.
The man revealed that, while reading his wife’s diary, he found out that she made long rants how all women around him were actively trying to disrespect their marriage by every action they made, even the most innocent one.
He highlighted that all his wife’s emotions were absolutely pointless, because, as he explained, «None of the women she was angry about has ever written to me an inappropriate message, none of them acted in any other manner except a friendly one towards me. All these people were actually hometown friends or schoolmates.»
But the most shocking revelation was still ahead. The man revealed, «Then I read some of her notes about how she had messaged these women from secret accounts. She accused them of disrespecting our relationship. She wrote from anonymous accounts and said she was just a person from our hometown, and she would tell them offensive things and just weird manipulative stuff. This all would result in the woman deleting me without ever telling me why.»
«This happened for many years, and I was unaware. Any new person who followed me and not her became immediately a problem, and she made sure they knew it in a way that would never throw a shade on her but still got them away from me.»
The man doesn’t know what to do with all information that he discovered.
This is a very complex situation, and it’s important to approach it with empathy and care. Here are a few steps that might help you navigate this situation:
- Collect your thoughts: Before making any decisions, take time to calmly think about what’s happening.
- Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a psychologist or counselor who can help you understand the contents of the diary and its impact on your family life.
- Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends or family members for support and advice in this situation.
- Make decisions together: Try to find solutions and make decisions together with your wife, taking into account her feelings and opinions.
- Create a trusting environment: It’s important to create a trusting environment where both partners can openly express their feelings and concerns.
Every situation is unique, so it’s important to seek help from professionals and make decisions based on your specific situation and your family’s needs.
People often write to us when they find themselves in difficult situations. Sometimes they want to hear many different opinions from our readers to see the situation from different perspectives. Here’s another man who wrote to us about how he confessed to his wife that he regrets his decision to have children.