Sometimes life surprises us with such hilarious moments that they become ingrained in our memories for years to come. This will probably be something we’ll be laughing about with our friends and family. These 10 people definitely have a cool story to tell.
1.
I’m a history teacher. We were looking in the textbook at a section on the founding fathers. Several of them had their own subheadings and a little paragraph about them. Like this:
George Washington (1732-1799)
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
Benjamin Franklin (1707-1790)
I then have a student raise their hand and ask, completely serious, «If you call these numbers, do they still work?»
She thought their birth and death dates were their phone numbers. I teach high school, the class lost it, and it took everything in me to keep a straight face.
2.
My friends and I got robbed once and my friend handed over his wallet then remembered that his ID was in there and how hard it is to get a new one, so he started arguing with the robber to let him take the ID out. They get into a full back and forth argument over it.
The robber eventually opens his wallet and is trying to slide the ID out of the plastic sleeve thing and is having trouble. My friend snatched the wallet from him, slides his ID out and hands back the wallet. We were all terrified at the time but looking back we laugh about how stupid that was.
3.
My friend’s younger brother once locked his keys in his car. He called his dad to bring the spare and unlock it. While his dad was driving over, he realized the window was down, so he could obviously get in and grab his keys. Rather than call his dad and say he no longer needed the spare, he rolled up the windows and then locked his keys in the car for real.
4.
I stopped by a sporting goods shop where my son worked during his college years. Waiting around for him got boring, so I decided to try out one of the treadmills on display. I’d never been on a treadmill in my life, but really, how hard could it be? I hopped up on the one with the key in the ignition (whatever, and turned it on).
WHOOSH! I flew off the end of that thing and knocked over a poor woman browsing the sweatpants. We disentangled ourselves and decided we were both unhurt while my son, who witnessed the whole stunt, watched, shaking his head, from the back of the store. I also had my big handbag over my shoulder the entire time.
5.
I have a bird phobia. Wild turkeys and Canada geese are the worst, and they’re all over the Boston area, where I live.
A year ago, I was walking home from a nearby bagel place and there was an adult turkey with 2 of her kids. The mom came at me with her beak open and chased me. I was screaming and freaking out. I had an umbrella with me and I started swinging it around to scare her off. Luckily it worked.
6.
My uncle couldn’t find the chocolate syrup in our refrigerator. It was stuck to the back of the milk. So every time he took the milk out to look behind it, the syrup would go right along with it. He started getting so frustrated, and we all could see what was happening every time he did it. Now any time something goes missing in the house we ask, «Did you check the back of the milk?»
7.
My son and I were waiting at the mall for the Easter bunny. The bunny hands him a little rubber ducky, which my son is thrilled about. The bunny hands another to him, but as my kid reaches for it, the bunny snatches it back and pats his lap (in a clear gesture of «you can have another ducky if you sit on my lap»).
My son looked at the duck he already had in his hand, chucks it at the Easter bunny, and literally storms off. He was so offended. I’ve never seen a baby that mad.
8.
My father, who is a very mellow and mature man now, had anger issues into his 30s. He was known to sometimes throw small temper tantrums. When I was 5, we lived in an old home with horrible flooring. After he got off work, my mother asked him to take out the trash.
He threw a temper tantrum, stomped and fell through the kitchen floor. My mom laughed. He became even madder, and she said, «That’s what you get for acting like a big baby!» He worked on his issues and never threw tantrums like that again.
9.
I had a big old Afro when I was a teenager. One day, my buddy and I were out for a bike ride in some posh neighborhood, and some girl across the street also on a bike is just staring slack-jawed at my hair. She rode right into a telephone pole.
10.
When my kids were young, my parents split up, due to my father’s infidelity. We live on a small farm, and one day we were talking about our chickens. We had a rooster my son had named King, and one of our chickens whom he hung out with a lot was named Queen.
King decided he liked a different chicken better, and we were talking about how King decided he wanted a different girlfriend. «Just like Grandpa John!» my son exclaimed. Yup. He wasn’t wrong!
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