Heirloom jewelry can have huge sentimental value, as well as remind us of the person who has gifted it to us. A woman was understandably upset when she discovered that her MIL gave away her late mom’s jewelry. She immediately asked her in-law to leave her house, but later turned to the internet, wondering whether her reaction was too harsh.
A woman shared her dilemma on the internet.
I (30F) am known in my family for my patience and generosity. I’ve always gone out of my way to help others, and I take pride in being a good person. My husband (32M) and I have a beautiful relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.
My late mother left me a precious heirloom, a vintage necklace that has been in our family for generations. It’s not just valuable, but it holds immense sentimental value to me. I’ve always kept it safe and only wore it on special occasions, cherishing the memories it holds.
Enter my MIL (57F), who has a history of overstepping boundaries. Despite our differences, when she lost her apartment, my husband and I opened our home to her, asking for nothing in return but basic respect for our belongings.
One day, I came home to find my MIL hosting a tea party with her friends, and to my horror, one of her friends was wearing my mother’s necklace. When I confronted her, my MIL nonchalantly said she gave it away because she thought it was ‘just old jewelry’ and that her friend admired it.
I was heartbroken and felt utterly betrayed. My husband was equally appalled and supported my decision to ask her to leave. Now, the rest of the family is painting me as the villain, saying I’m overreacting and should forgive her because ‘family is family.’
I got the necklace back after explaining the situation to MIL’s friend, but my MIL thinks I made her look extremely foolish.
Redditors took the woman’s side.
- «And how did MIL’s friend know about the necklace? Did your MIL take her on a tour of your bedroom, open your jewelry box, and let her root around in your things? Appalling overstepping and invasion of privacy! She should be shamed by the family, not defended and excused. Glad you got the necklace back.» HesterFabian / Reddit
- «Glad you got it back. The only person who made your MIL look like a fool as well as a thief was herself. May I suggest you get an exterior door knob for your bedroom door that requires an actual key? The same for any other room you don’t want anyone roaming through. Saves a lot of angst, as some people will paw through papers.» 3Heathens_Mom / Reddit
- «She has obviously been going through your personal possessions in order to find the necklace, and there’s no telling what other things she has claimed for herself, or given to others.» Forward-Wear7913 / Reddit
- «Your MIL was completely out of line by doing this. No one has the right to give away something that isn’t theirs without the express permission of the owner or a person with authority over the item in question. Your MIL should be utterly ashamed of her behavior, not the other way around.» Betelgeuse8188 / Reddit
- «She gave away something that was not hers. Your home was opened to her on the condition that she respect your belongings. She broke that condition on many, many levels, so you were right to ask her to leave.
The rest of the family is only hearing her side of the story, in which, of course, she is painting you as the villain. She’s still perfectly capable of learning boundaries, and that actions have consequences. If your family members are so concerned, then they should be hosting her.
Quite apart from anything else, I would not expect a person to forgive another person for something that has happened unless a) that person apologizes (genuinely) for the action AND b) takes action to rectify the issue as much as possible. If you ‘forgive’ in any other situation, all you are really doing is condoning the action, and stating that your boundaries / conditions actually have no meaning.» Independent_Rain4838 / Reddit - «I can’t imagine someone being kind enough to let me stay with them, inviting friends over, and then responding by giving away the host’s possessions... Let alone jewelry. That’s someone who wouldn’t be allowed back into my home unless I was there to physically watch them. And even then... Maybe not.» Chaos-n-Dissonance / Reddit
- «If your late mother’s jewelry is just ‘some random jewelry,’ then your MIL is just some random old lady that you don’t owe any respect and certainly not any forgiveness. What she did was malicious and so mean spirited I can’t quite wrap my head around it, I’d never want to see her face again.
Ignore the rest of the family, they just don’t want to take her in and have their heirlooms disappear next. As long as you and your husband are on the same page (which I am so happy to hear you are), then you can just ignore the people telling you to forgive. They wouldn’t forgive her either.» canyonemoon / Reddit
Problems with mothers-in-law are not uncommon. We recently wrote about a MIL who accused her DIL of cheating because of her baby’s unusual eye color. But when the young mom did a DNA test to prove her in-law wrong, she found out something she never expected.