“Mom, I’m going out with my boyfriend.”
“My dear, after taking you out for a drink, he’ll take you to a hotel where he will kiss you, undress you, and make love on top of you. I’ll die if that takes place!Next day, the mother queries:
“How did it go?”
“You were right, he took me to a hotel, touched me, undressed me, and when he tried to get on top, I told him: ‘NO WAY.'”
“Good job, my girl.”
Four married men go fishing. After a while, they start bragging:
“You wouldn’t believe what I had to do to come fishing! I promised my wife I’d paint the whole house next weekend.”
“She wouldn’t let me come until I promised to replace all the tiles around the pool.”
“You guys have it easy. I had to promise to renovate the kitchen and change all the appliances.”
They kept fishing until they noticed the fourth man hadn’t said anything.
“Hey, don’t pretend you didn’t have to promise anything!”
“Well, I set the alarm for 3:00 AM, and when it went off, I whispered to my wife: ‘Should we make love or can I go fishing?’ She replied: ‘Dress well!'”