The details of a man’s internal struggle over whether or not to take care of his younger sister were revealed in a post that was twice removed from Reddit.
The original poster (OP) intended to do everything in his power for her, but his wife had a different perspective. When the OP’s father passed away, leaving his sister without anybody to care for her, the OP and his wife had been married for two years.
The OP is more of a father figure than an elder brother because his sibling is considerably younger.
The OP’s younger sister was eleven years old when their father left for his trip.
The OP and his wife did not have any children and had no plans to start a family anytime soon. Since they didn’t want children, this was a problem.
After suffering a devastating loss, the OP and his loved ones were presented with difficult decisions. Unfortunately, the decisions we made led to friction that we hadn’t bargained for. According to the OP:
“My father passed away from pancreatic cancer. There are 2 options for my sister: either I take her in or my uncle [dad’s brother]. So we asked her who she wanted, and she chose me. Here is the problem: My wife and I decided that we did not want kids.”
Both men agreed that it was an important choice and that the young girl should be given the opportunity to express her preference for where she should reside. The young child chose to remain with the OP and his wife
However, when the OP’s wife made it clear that she did not want children and that taking in his sister would mean that they had a child, the difficulty started.
The woman argued that since the young girl’s uncle was able to adopt her, neither she nor her husband should.
The OP stated that he was not going to force his sister to stay with their uncle because she had indicated a desire to be with him, and because she was left without parents after their father passed away, he wanted to make sure she recovered well.
The OP and his wife were really upset by the choice.
But eventually, the OP told his wife that, whether she liked it or not, he would let his sister stay with them. Additionally, he warned her that if she refused, they would get a divorce. They remained silent for some time after that.
The OP later updated the post to say that he and his wife had discussed it again and made the decision to part ways. And he said:
“She said you really are choosing your sister over me.”
The OP assured his wife that whatever she understood about the matter was acceptable and that he didn’t want to discuss it again. He added that at the moment, his sister was his top focus.
That was the last conversation the OP and his wife had. He also said: “I have been living with my sister for 1 week now. Being a single father-ish brother is definitely challenging, but I am really enjoying it.”
Many commenters on the original article felt that the OP had done the right thing by his sister and that his wife was being insensitive by refusing to take in a homeless teen.
If any of the thread’s readers were parents, they would do well to have a will in place designating a guardian for their children in the event of their untimely passing.
According to another person’s account, their half-sister took them back to their childhood home after their parents died, but it was obvious that they weren’t wanted there.
At the age of 15, the person ran away, but neither their half-sister nor her spouse paid any attention to their disappearance.
This user thinks that the OP and his wife should have divorced because his sister would have noticed any hostility against her if she had stayed in the household.
Another person who does not have children said that it would have been a deal breaker for them as well.
Some people backed the OP’s wife, saying she knew her limits and couldn’t handle caring for a child going through such extreme trauma.
Someone else chimed in and said that the OP’s wife would be forced into the position of mother if she helped raise his sister even if she didn’t want to.
Another poster said that they would normally side with the wife, but in this case they couldn’t since they felt the wife had been unfair to the OP and his sister by making the accusation that he preferred her to her.