Our reader's spouse was in the hospital fighting for his life, and the pressure was so intense she basically forgot she even had a kid. What's worse is that her 8-year-old son thought she didn't love him anymore because the ex-wife decided to throw some serious shade. Now our reader has to clean up this mess and convince her kid that she's not ditching him.
Our reader shared a story with us.
Thank you for reaching out to us! We’re sorry that you had to go through it, and we’d like to give you some tips that you might find useful.
Reassure your son.
This situation is a total mess, but the most important thing is your son. He's probably scared and confused. Find a quiet time when he's calm. Explain to him, in simple terms, that you were worried about your husband's accident, and it made you forget some important things, like getting him to school and making lunch.
Reassure him that you love him more than anything. You can say something like, "Your dad's accident was really scary, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. You're my whole world, and forgetting things doesn't change that."
Talk to the ex-wife.
You're rightfully angry, but cool down before talking to his ex. When you do, explain how her comments hurt your son. Let her know that her priority should be supporting your son during this difficult time, not trying to break up your family.
You can say, "I appreciate your help, but talking about a new family was confusing for him. Let's focus on supporting him and dad right now."
Forgive yourself.
You went through a traumatic experience, and it's okay if you didn't handle everything perfectly. Focus on getting your family back on track and be kind to yourself. You can say, "I didn't take the best care of our son lately, but I'm working on getting things back to normal. I love him more than anything."
Show, don't just say.
Actions speak louder than words. Make sure your son sees you putting in the effort – getting him to school on time, helping with homework, making his favorite meals. These small acts demonstrate your love and commitment.
At the same time, don't neglect your own needs. Schedule time for activities that help you de-stress, like taking a walk, reading a book, or talking to a friend. A healthy parent can better care for their child.
Our reader's story could be straight out of the most dramatic reality show. After rebuilding her life and securing her dream job, her high school tormentor reappeared unexpectedly, spreading fresh gossip about her and causing trouble once again.