This mom found herself in the difficult position of asking her mother-in-law to leave because she was trying to wake her up. While some people manage to get along well with their mothers-in-law, this mom was unable to do so due to this unfortunate situation.
She explained what has happened.
My husband has a habit of never telling me when he is expecting guests and to be blunt, I'm tired of it. We have an 8-month-old, and there has been at least 15 occasions now where he has invited his mother or sister over and just not told me. They both live 3 hours away.
Well, my MIL showed up here on Saturday and I had just laid down with our daughter to take a nap maybe 20 minutes prior. Like, I literally just fell asleep when my MIL and husband walk in to the bedroom. I wake up to my husband pulling my shirt back in to a decent position and him saying, "Hey, mum's here to see us."
I say, "Well, I just got the baby down for a nap, so we aren't available." He kind of whispers to me and says, "Babe, she just traveled 3 hours to see us. You can take a nap after she leaves." I have had the same repeated conversation with this man about my thoughts on guests when I have not been informed beforehand and due to this, I got incredibly pissed off and told him to get out of the room, now.
Well, my MIL says something to the effect of "Come on, up you go, I didn't travel down here for nothing" and starts pulling the blanket off me. So I snapped and said, "Yes you did travel down here for nothing because my daughter and I are not going to get out of bed for an unannounced guest. Get out, now."
My husband just looked embarrassed and told his mom "let's go" and pulled her out of the room as she was complaining about respect and whatever else.
I heard the front door slam. I went back to sleep. I woke up an hour and a half later and my husband was sitting at the kitchen island with a pissed off look on his face, and as soon as he saw me, he unleashed. Said that he can't believe I would embarrass him like that, and that it's not like it would have killed me to get out of bed for 30 minutes, so his mother could see me and the baby.
I once again told him that unless he loops me in, I'm not open to guests. I'm done not being told what's going on and feeling like I'm in the dark in my own home. Now he swears up and down that he did tell me, when I know for an absolute fact that he did not. He's trying to play the "She traveled for 3 hours for nothing" card, but I truly don't care. I was tired and I needed sleep.
People agreed with her.
- What absolutely baffles me is that after he knows his mother is headed to your home, he has literally 3 HOURS to inform you that she’s on her way. ApprehensiveArt3046 / Reddit
- Not only have you told him to inform you of guests coming, but he brought his mother into your bedroom to wake you up. For me, that's crossing the line and invading your personal space even more. Inside_Owl_9536 / Reddit
- The fact that your husband thinks it's acceptable to use your baby and home as an open-invitation venue without consulting you first is not only disrespectful, it's downright dismissive of your role as a partner and parent. Everyone needs a heads-up before guests arrive; it's common sense and a sign of mutual respect.
You're already juggling the enormous task of caring for a newborn. The onus is on him and your MIL to respect the boundaries you have clearly set. Telling you afterward is not communication, it's an explanation of a boundary breach. Stand firm; your baby's routine and your need for informed consent on household visitors aren't up for negotiation. Candace_Tesoro / Reddit - Sleep is nothing less than sacred when you have a baby. If someone had dared to wake me up to entertain a visitor, they would never hear the end of it. Mountain_Cat_cold / Reddit
- You didn't kick her out of the house, you just said you weren't getting up from a nap. She chose to leave. She could have hung out with her son. She could have waited until you got up from your nap.
She had options. One of which was texting you personally to make sure you knew she was coming. boredgeekgirl / Reddit
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