I’m an 18-year-old guy who will graduate from high school at the end of this month. My father informed me two nights ago that his 14-year-old stepdaughter had an award ceremony for a competition she won that will take place in another state on the same day as my graduation. She sincerely hopes he will attend. He stated that he is unable to attend both events, and because his wife and children are attending, he must also attend. He promised we could celebrate another time and that he would make amends to me.
I still live with my father, but not for much longer. My mother passed away when I was seven, and he remarried when I was about eleven or twelve. His stepdaughter had never known her original father, so my father adopted her and has spent a lot of time with her over the last 5 or 6 years.
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This shift is not always obvious, but it is important. Our father-son time was put on hold, and he insisted that we involve her in our activities. He also spent time alone with her, having father-daughter moments. When I brought this up with him, he stated I wasn’t trying to grow closer to her, and he wanted us all to bond rather than just my relationship with him.
If my basketball games and her dance events happen at the same time, he always goes to hers, even if my game was scheduled first. When we go out for family days, and they let the kids choose the activities, he always picks her suggestions over mine. He says it’s because her choices are more fun for everyone, but he admits later that he just wants to make his little princess happy.
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Our refrigerator and shower both stopped working at the same time. With his stepdaughter’s birthday approaching, dad withdrew money from my birthday fund to cover the repair charges, assuring she received her requested gifts of a Barbie house and a fashion set for $250. When my birthday arrived, he hadn’t replaced all of the money, so instead of the promised new monitor and keyboard, I got a $30 gift card. The display and keyboard were designed to work with the computer that my grandparents had given me.
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When my dad said he would miss my graduation to support her, I told him that was something he couldn’t make up for and that he could forget about being part of my life in the future. He promised to make it up to me, but I told him I was tired of always being second to his “little princess,” and I wasn’t okay with it anymore. I told him this was the last time he would push me aside. He pleaded with me to be reasonable, but I just walked away.
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I quickly invited both sets of my grandparents to my graduation, and they agreed to go. His wife invited me to join them and skip the wedding to support “my sister.” I stated that her kid is not my sister, and I no longer wish to support their family. I added that I will be leaving their lives soon. She called me selfish and stated that I could not deny her daughter a father.