Have you ever used a covert test, such as waiting for your partner to text you first, to gauge the health of your relationship? Relationship doctors claim that these secret tests can actually damage your relationship. This is exactly what happened to one Reddit user, read his story in our article.
The user shared his story online.
When I was 16, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was pathetic and begged her to take me back. I thought I was in love and couldn't live without her. I was an idiot.
Now, at 25, I promised myself never to do that again. I've had several relationships and a few flings. When they end, I'm sad, but not weak.
I had been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We met at a work event, hit it off, and made it exclusive.
Recently, we discussed moving in together to save money in our expensive city. Her apartment is bigger, but I own mine, so we were figuring it out.
Last weekend, out of nowhere, she said we were moving too fast and wanted to break up because she wasn't sure I was all in. I said okay. Then she freaked out, it turned out that it was a test to see if I would fight for her.
I don't play mind games, so I told her I'd pack up her stuff for her to pick up. She accused me of being a cold-hearted jerk who used her. I wasn't. I thought we had a future, though I wasn't ready to propose. We had met each other's families and spent last Christmas together. My family loves her. I loved her.
My parents called to ask what was going on. They think I'm being stubborn. My sister says I'm a jerk for not forgiving my ex.
I just remember crying myself to sleep over a girl and refusing to do it again.
Users unanimously agreed that testing wasn’t normal.
- Testing" each other is toxic. It’s not a part of a healthy relationship at all. If someone tells you they’re done with you, you don’t fight for them, you trust this adult person to know what they want & respect their decision. jesterinancientcourt / Reddit
- The way to "test" how much someone loves you is to love them to the best of your ability, and if they love you back, then congrats! They passed the "test." Pretending not to love someone just to see if they won't trust that you mean what you say is such a convoluted way to be rude toward someone. HopefulPlantain5475 / Reddit
- Nobody likes being the subject of weird relationship mind games, and the people who do it are always so surprised when they get dropped because of it. You can find someone better, someone confident in their relationship with you. anonymoose036 / Reddit
Some were sure the guy shouldn’t date his girlfriend again.
- I’m 100% with you. I don’t do "test". Many years ago, a guy I was dating said maybe we should break up. I just packed my stuff and left.
Many years later we ran into each other, and he said it was a "loyalty test". I laughed so hard. No. Just no. Over-Marionberry-686 / Reddit - She said that after a year and a half, she doesn't know you or trust you. If that's what she thinks about you, it ain't ever gonna change. Mind games aside, seems like reason enough right there. She sounds like the type of wife who'd threaten you with divorce to win a petty argument. There is no future with someone like that. FictionalContext / Reddit
- Don’t let her or your family make you feel bad. You did the right thing! If you forgive her, what’s she gonna "test" you with next? Your girlfriend reminds me of when I read a while back where a pregnant girlfriend and her friend decided to "test" the boyfriend by claiming she miscarried to see how upset he would be so they would know if he really wanted the baby. Needless to say, he dumped her over it.
You don’t test your partner. If she had concerns, then she should have spoken to you. Testing others like she did is a childish action, and she’s supposed to be an adult. The term "women mature faster than men" is not always true. Really_Now1 / Reddit
Another user pretended to have an emergency to test her boyfriend’s commitment, and it ruined her relationship too. Read the full story here.