Being in a long relationship or marriage, you can still get unexpected surprises, sometimes totally unpleasant. And one day to find yourself in a situation where you’ve been “pranked” by your own spouse. One of our readers shared such a personal story and asked for advice.
Our reader asked us for help.
Thank you for reaching out to us! We have some useful tips that might help you resolve the situation.
He’s testing your boundaries.
Your husband might be testing the boundaries of what you’ll tolerate. He’s just checking your reaction to his “prank”. If you show him that you’re fine with it and he won’t suffer any consequences, he’ll keep escalating his behavior based on it. The best way to deal with this is to let him know that you won’t tolerate such treatment, especially from your husband who’s supposed to protect and support you.
Seek support.
If you feel unsure about how you reacted to a prank — whether you overreacted, was it just a joke or whether your boundaries were really violated — it is important to seek support from friends and family or a counselor. This can help you deal with the consequences of the violation and give you the strength to take action. Support can also help you feel less isolated, boost your self-esteem, and help you set healthier boundaries.
Get a divorce.
It’s highly unlikely you’ll be able to relax around him again. You might always worry about what else he might do spontaneously. If he’s already ignoring your emotions he will not care about them in the future either.
Unfortunately, some people change after marriage, and maybe just now you’re seeing the dark side of your husband. The worst thing is that it might only be the beginning, you never know what else he will come up with.
Distance yourself and ask your husband to go to therapy.
If you don’t file for divorce, you might want to separate at the very least. Insist that he should see a therapist. The way your husband “pranked” you was cruel and abusive. Something might have happened in his life recently that changed his perception of you. Maybe you got promoted or you were complimented by someone, which led to his resentment. Clearly, it’s not an excuse in any case.
If you’re sure nothing could have triggered such a behavior. You might want to ask him to check his mental health or other health issues with a professional.
It is difficult to find a couple who will not experience any difficulties in their relationship. Sometimes there are not only difficulties in the relationship between husband and wife, but also in terms of parents, parents-in-law, brothers and sisters.