Step one in my plan? I went back home. By the time I arrived, Tom and Kelly were lazing around the living room as if they owned it.
I could hear them laughing, which made my skin crawl. I crept inside, staying near the borders of the room so they wouldn’t notice me. It was difficult to be quiet when all I wanted to do was yell, but I held my cool.
After that, I took a couple of garbage bags and began collecting everything of Tom’s belongings, including his clothes, shoes, video gaming systems, and even his shaving equipment. It felt like I was moving him out, but that wasn’t the case.
I placed everything into my car and headed straight to Kelly’s house. I scattered Tom’s belongings all over her front yard, making sure his favorite console landed face down in the grass. I took a deep breath and felt a rush of satisfaction. I was not finished yet, but this was a decent start.
Step two: I called Sarah, a mutual friend who has a penchant for drama. She’s the kind to wear a ballgown to a pizza party simply for fun. If anyone could help make this strategy a success, it was her.
“Sarah, you will not believe what just happened,” I said, my voice shaky from both anger and excitement.
“Greta, what’s going on?” she asked, immediately concerned.
I told her everything: the shower, the betrayal, the disposal of Tom’s belongings. She gasped and then burst out laughing so hard that she had to put me on speaker to gather her breath.
“Oh my God, Greta. This is insane! What are you going to do?”
“Well,” I said, smiling at the idea forming in my head, “we were planning that barbecue next weekend, right? How about we move it up to tomorrow? But this isn’t just any barbecue; it’s a coming out party.”
Sarah went all in. She began messaging friends immediately, and within minutes, the guest list had doubled. We were making this the event of the year, and everyone was about to see the big reveal of Tom and Kelly’s little secret.
Step 3 was my favorite. I created a group chat with friends and family, including Tom and Kelly, and sent out the message, “Exciting news! Come to Sarah’s tomorrow for a big surprise! Dress code: tropical vacation vibes!”
The following day, the garden was packed with people wearing flowered shirts, sunglasses, and bright colors, sipping cocktails and wondering what the big deal was. I watched from the sides as Tom and Kelly showed up, both looking apprehensive, most likely suspecting something was off.
“Hey, love,” Tom said, startled to see me. “When did you return from your business trip and what’s this all about?”
“Oh, you’ll see, hun,” I answered, smiling sweetly. Kelly avoided eye contact by fumbling with the strap of her sundress. I could see she was nervous, which was just how I wanted her to feel.
When everyone came, I clinked my glass to catch their attention. “Hey, guys! Thanks for coming on such short notice,” I said. “I know you’re all curious about the surprise, and trust me, it’s a big one.”
I looked over at Tom and Kelly, their expressions a mix of confusion and terror. I almost felt bad for them. Almost.
“So, here’s the deal,” I continued. “Yesterday, I found out that my darling husband Tom and my wonderful sister Kelly have been sneaking around behind my back.”
Gasps rang throughout the yard, as eyes darted between Tom, Kelly, and myself.
“But don’t worry, I’m not mad. In fact, I’m grateful. Because this whole mess brought me closer to all of you and made me realize something.”
Tom looked like he’d been slapped. “Greta, wait—” he started, but I held up my hand.
“Oh, we’re not done. Since you two love surprises so much, we’re going to play a little game today. It’s called ‘Who Can Pack Faster?'” I pulled out two suitcases I’d brought along and tossed them at Kelly and Tom’s feet.
“You have ten minutes to pack your things and get out of my life. The faster you go, the faster you win.”
There was a startled stillness, followed by Sarah’s burst of laughter, which triggered a wave of chuckles throughout the group. Tom’s face flushed red, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. Kelly seemed to want to disappear.
Tom tried to stammer something, but his voice cracked. “Greta, please, it’s not what it looks like, I swear—”
“Save it, Tom,” I cut him off, arms crossed. “The only words I want to hear from you are ‘goodbye.'”
Kelly grabbed her suitcase, tears welling in her eyes. “This is ridiculous!” she exclaimed, her voice quivering as she stormed toward the gate.
Tom lingered, gazing around at our buddies, hoping for someone to back him up. “Guys, come on, this is a misunderstanding—”
Sarah raised her glass, smirking. “You’d better get a new apartment, Tom. “Good luck!”
Tom hesitated, his shoulders sagging with defeat. He finally turned and followed Kelly out, his face flushed from embarrassment. By the end, half of our pals were offering me drinks, while the other half were telling Tom to sort out his housing situation.
Needless to say, Tom did not return home that night. And Kelly? She’s been trying to avoid family occasions ever since. They believed they were playing me, but I ended up having the last laugh.