If you’ve made it through a long-term friendship without at least one disagreement, you might be in rare company. The truth is, real friendships are messy sometimes. There’s no avoiding that. Misunderstandings pop up, people get their feelings hurt, and small issues can sometimes snowball into something way bigger. These awkward moments might just be part of being close to someone.Now, a little tension here and there is pretty normal. But every once in a while, a playful joke or an honest opinion hits too hard, and things take a turn. That’s exactly what the people over at the AmItheAhole subreddit are trying to figure out—whether their friendships just hit a rough patch or whether they crossed a serious line. From pulled pranks that weren’t funny to being left out of major life events like weddings, these stories cover all kinds of drama. In some cases, it’s obvious who was out of line. But with others, it’s a bit trickier to call. That’s why these posters turned to the internet for a second opinion—hoping to find out if they were right to speak up or if they were being, well, kind of a jerk. All stories have been edited to make them easier to follow and a bit shorter.
AITA For Telling My Friend Not To Come If She's Bringing Her Kid?
One of my (nearly 30) friends put together a get-together at a restaurant for my birthday. The place has a bar where we're going to be hanging out. The plan was to get a bit tipsy and order appetizers. My husband and I have a 3 year old, but we're hiring a babysitter for the night. We rented out a private room with a bar.
My other friend, Missy, has a 5 year old daughter. She mentioned she was going to bring her. I offered to pay my babysitter extra to watch her daughter. Missy said no because her daughter is in daycare all day and she doesn't want her to have to then be with a sitter. I said I understand but I don't think it's appropriate for her to come. One, I know our group. We're going to get rowdy and I don't want to censor myself. Two, Missy's daughter is like a lot of 5 year olds: she doesn't sit still, wants to run all over the place. Missy admits she doesn't bring her out to restaurants much because she doesn't know how to act. But I also know Missy will just sort of let her as she's very permissive.
I spoke to my friend who put it together and said I don't want any kids there. There's a reason I got a sitter for my own kid. That friend agreed and told Missy not to bring her daughter. Missy has now thrown a fit and said she's not coming. I said I completely understand. There are events I have missed because I don't want to leave my daughter and the group understands as we all have kids.
I told Missy I'd be glad to have a play date/lunch another time with our kids so we can still hang out. I told Missy I can't stop her from coming to the restaurant but we absolutely will not allow her to come into the private room. She's very hurt that we're excluding her.
AITA for not wanting a kid at my party and telling my friend she can't come if she brings her?
Also, if it's relevant, Missy didn't pay for the rented room. Two of my other friends did as a gift to me. So, it's not as if I'm telling her she can't come to something she paid for.
AITA For Telling My Friend Her Parents Bought Her House?
Backstory: I (F28) have a friend (F28) who purchased a house late last year. It's an awesome 2 story town house and I've been over there plenty of times to help out with moving/decorating and for hanging out. As mentioned in the title, her parents purchased the house for her and her partner. I truly have no issue with this as the housing market is terrible for buyers so more power to them for being homeowners. I recently, unfortunately inherited my parents' house, which is a 3 bedroom, out in the sticks.
The issue: We went appliance shopping because most of the the stuff in the house was 10-15 years old. We were standing with an employee who I had asked to recommend some smaller items like toasters and kettles when the employee asked if I was moving out as general chit chat. I told him I was moving in, and he asked whether I bought or rented. I told him bought, because it was just easier and less awkward than telling him I inherited the house. He told me that was cool and began talking about the toasters again when my friend cut in that I had inherited my house, not purchased it. The employee went quiet and I gave her a "what was that" face. I was taken aback, she continued on saying "Yeah, I purchased my house." I asked, "Does it really matter? I'm here to buy some kitchen appliances not tell this guy my personal issues." She grinned and said, "It's just for the record" which made me more confused and annoyed. I replied, "Oh okay then if it's just for the record your parents purchased your house for you."
The employee quickly retreated and she walked outside of the shop. I caught up with her and she said I was a massive a**hole for pointing out she couldn't afford to own without her parents' help. I returned with a very similar, "My parents also helped me with getting a house too, just in a really terrible way." My partner agrees with me, saying that she's the one that opened that door, but our other friends are split almost 50/50.
AITA For Not Letting My Best Friend Have Her Wedding On My Property?
One of my (29M) best friends "Carla" (31F) is getting married soon. It's only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they've been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it's private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view, and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff. Of course I said yes; she and her fiancé "Rick" were very happy. Thing is Carla and I do have a history. We went out on and off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick, and now here they are.
Now my wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn't care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything. I never knew if Rick was told or not, it's not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so I never did. Rick found out recently and not in the best way. Not sure how but from what I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) we used to date. Not only that but apparently Carla said a couple years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick. Don't have actual confirmation if that's exactly what he was told. All Carla's told me is that Rick was told about our past and he's angry at her for never saying anything.
It became quite a drama and I didn't hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they're going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on. But Rick requested that I not attend. It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn't be comfortable. Then I asked the obvious question, where are they going to hold the wedding then? To my surprise she said they still want it at our place.
Rick said so too and in my mind I'm going, "He doesn't want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house." My wife and I are expected to just... not be at our home that weekend, and I told Carla no. They're going to have to find some place else since we're not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn't make sense. Rick doesn't want me around because he's not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house? They really want their wedding here though and because of that I've been bugged by not only by her but also Rick and some friends who think I'm being a petty a**hole for not letting them have the wedding here anymore. Honestly, I don't think that I am, it just doesn't make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we're no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable. Still, being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it's the least I can do after everything. AITA?
AITA For Kicking Out One Of My Bridesmaids?
My (23F) wedding was back on December 31st and I'm still getting backlash from this, so I want to know if this was an AH move.
In the country I live in it's currently winter, and we get a fair amount of snow so my wedding was a winter-themed wedding. The color theme was forest green and gold. My dress was obviously white, and I chose the color of my bridesmaids' dresses to be forest green as well. My MOH's dress was black, and everyone was to wear gold accessories.
I have this friend, we'll call her Kat, that I asked to be one of my bridesmaids. When we went dress shopping and I told them the color theme I was going for, Kat immediately expressed that she thought forest green was a bad choice. She said she thinks it's not a flattering color, and thought I should choose something different and more "girly." I said no because my wedding was winter-themed and I thought the color would go perfect with the theme. She suggested a pink, blue, even a red. I said no, but thanks for your opinion. She found out my MOH's dress was black and asked if she could wear black too. I said no, only my MOH is wearing black. I paid for all the dresses.
Fast forward to wedding day, everyone's getting their hair and makeup done and Kat shows up 30 minutes late holding a bag that looked like it had a dress inside. I asked her what this was for. She told me it was for later on at the reception if she got uncomfortable and wanted to change after pictures. I was like okay cool.
So fast forward we're all dressed and walking down the stairs because the ceremony is beginning in 30 minutes and we were going to take some pictures before. Kat is the last person to come down and she's wearing a BLACK DRESS. At the time I was preoccupied taking pictures with my parents, but my MOH came over to me and made me aware of the situation.
I confronted Kat and asked her what was going on. She said she hates her bridesmaid dress, as the color is ugly and makes her look gross so she's wearing black. I told her please go back and change. She refused and started walking away from me. I said I'm going to ask her one more time, and if she doesn't oblige I'm calling security and kicking her out. She began yelling at me to f*ck off, so I called security and asked them to please escort her out. She started making a BIG scene yelling how I'm such a b*tch, that I can't force her to wear anything, and that I'm a horrible inconsiderate friend.
The wedding went on and it was truly amazing.
Ever since the wedding Kat has been blowing up my phone with texts saying some really nasty things and asking for the money back she spent on the black dress, since it was a waste and she didn't get to wear it. I had to block her number. Some of my other bridesmaids have been giving me sh*t saying that it was a little harsh kicking her out and embarrassing her like that. And that maybe I should give her the money back. AITA for kicking her out?
AITA For Blowing Up At My Friend Who Constantly Makes Comments About My Boobs?
I have big boobs. I'm currently at 52kg and there's nothing I can do to change the size of these things unless I have surgery. I'm also extremely shy and from a very conservative family so my resentment and shame towards my bust is an ongoing issue.
My friend Sarah is one of those unfiltered free thinkers who says whatever is on her mind. She's also slim and her chest is very much in proportion to the rest of her body. We work together and I'm always secretly jealous of how great shirts and tops look on her whereas I feel I look very sloppy and unprofessional with oversized, ill fitting clothes.
Sarah has this way of always bringing up my boobs in conversation, starting off complimentary but often ending with a subtle insult. She knows they're a physical feature I'm uncomfortable with but doesn't let up. Examples of things she'll say is how my boobs look good now but give it a few years, and they'll be down to my knees, hahaha! Or she'll show me comments on Reddit where people are discussing chest size preferences and most are commenting how they much prefer a smaller bust over large. Or just a general reminder of how work or men will never take me seriously because of my 'cartoon boobs.' I know she's trying to have lighthearted fun but it gets to me and I've told her a few times to drop it before.
Now we're working from home, we all have daily video calls and meetings. Uniform is not necessary and can wear what we like. A few days ago, it was extremely hot and I was wearing a lighter, more revealing top than my usual baggy coverups. During this video call, in front of 6 other colleagues, Sarah starts vocalizing her thoughts on my appearance: "Holy s**t! Put those away! You look like you're in a p*rno. We don't need to see that first thing in the morning, hahaha." I was mortified. One other colleague laughed along but the rest looked uncomfortable. I felt close to tears, made an excuse, and left the meeting. Sarah called me up half an hour later asking me what was wrong and I went off on her. Told her to go f*ck herself and was sick of her constant jabs about my appearance. I went on a 10 minute tirade and hung up. Sarah has been off sick since that day and we haven't spoken again. I'm wondering if I was too harsh and maybe should call and apologize for my outburst? Was I TA?
AITA For Telling My Friend I Won't Be Inviting Her Out Anymore?
So my BF tells me im not the a**hole but I feel like I may be. So I (F23) have a friend I'll call Mary who's 22. She and I work together and became friends. Well this past Saturday, I invited her out with my friend group to go to a local amusement park that goes all out for Halloween.
Mary asks if she can bring her kids, a 5 year old boy and an 18 month old girl. Everyone involved tells her it's really not a good idea as this park and its haunted attractions are not geared towards children and we're planning on being there until it closes which is midnight. She seems to accept this but asks repeatedly throughout the week leading up to Saturday and she is again told no. Well, Saturday arrived and as you can guess, she brought her kids. Other people in our group ask her why and she just shrugged saying she thought the kids would have fun.
They didn't, her son got scared within about 10 minutes of us getting into the park and began to cry begging to go home to which Mary tells him to calm down and he'll have fun eventually. We get in line for the first haunted house and her son again starts to cry saying he doesn't want to go into the house. Mary then asks myself if I'll stay and watch her son and daughter so she can go into the haunted house.
I tell her no and that this is why we told her not to bring her kids. She gets upset and drags her very scared child through the haunted house. He had a melt down and had to be carried out. This repeats through every single haunted house we attempted to go through.
Around 11:30, my boyfriend pulls me aside and tells me that he can't take anymore of the screaming/crying and we try to break off to find a place to calm down. Mary sees this and leaves her son and daughter with us while she runs off to go on a ride. Her son gets scared by an actor chasing people with a chainsaw and has an epic melt down. I'm doing the best I can to console him but I am rapidly running out of patience. Finally his mom comes back and I all but shove her son back into her arms
I tell Mary that my BF and I were leaving along with the rest of our group. She gets huffy but agreed. We leave the park and go to Waffle House for dinner. At this point it's midnight and both kids are extremely tired and upset. They cry all through dinner and Mary did nothing to calm them down. Finally at the end of my rope, once we get out of the restaurant I lose my temper. I tell Mary that this is why she was told not to bring her kids to this event and that I will not be inviting her back out again if she can't follow the rules of the group. Mary got upset and has since blocked me and the other people who agreed with me. No one in the group agreed with Mary but they all did say that I didn't need to say anything about it to her and I didn't need to tell her I wasn't inviting her out again.
AITA?
AITA For Helping My Friend Get A Girl Removed From The Soccer Team?
I (16f) have a friend named Aysha (15f). Aysha is Muslim and wears a hijab to school which often causes people to give her dirty looks, comments, etc. I don't know why. It's just cloth.
Anyway the worst instance possible was with this girl named Megan (also 15f). When we were sitting together at lunch she came up to Aysha and I and told Aysha she dared her to take her hijab off, taunting her saying she would look so pretty without it. (This was with malicious intent because I told her one time thinking she was just clueless and wanted to educate her.) Then she forcibly tried to remove her hijab. I moved her hand away and we went to the principal. Instead of getting a punishment, Megan made up a sob story about how it would harm her position on some prestigious soccer club she was in.
Fast forward to a few days ago. She makes a TikTok that said "when you get called to the principals office for telling the Muslim girl to take off her durag." I was so livid at her. Aysha is very shy and didn't want to seem like a buzzkill, so she asked me personally to email the soccer organization. Well, I did, and she was immediately kicked off and other organizations in the area were notified of her behavior.
Now, all of her friends are in my DMs saying how horrible I am, how I need to take a joke, etc. My parents think I should have stayed out of it. But I think I did the right thing.
AITA For Telling My Friend Her 'Quirky' Behavior Is Just Being Rude?
I (25F) have a friend, let's call her Sarah (24F), who's always been kind of unique. She's one of those people who prides herself on being "quirky" and "different," and while I get that, sometimes it crosses a line into being rude or inconsiderate.
She will often interrupt people mid-conversation to share her "random" thoughts, even if it's completely off-topic. She's also really loud and makes awkward comments about personal things, like loudly asking a couple if they've "ever considered an open relationship" at a dinner party or commenting on someone's weight without any filter. I've talked to her about it in a nice way before, saying that sometimes it feels like she's not really paying attention to the social dynamics or how others might feel, but she brushes it off with a "I'm just being myself, take it or leave it!"
This weekend, we were at a gathering, and she made a huge scene by loudly criticizing a mutual friend's new haircut (it was a bad cut, but she didn't need to say anything). I finally snapped and told her that she's not quirky, she's just being rude, and it's really starting to get on my nerves. She was really upset, said I was trying to suppress her personality and that I don't appreciate her for who she is. Now, she's ignoring me, and our friend group is divided.
AITA for calling her out, or should I have just let her continue with her quirky behavior?
AITA For Kicking A Friend Out Of My House?
Earlier today I had two friends over to watch a game and catch up as social distancing rules eased up a bit in my area (we're all women in our early 30s). One friend, let's call her A, has had a very tough couple of years. She lost her husband last year (he was on deployment when he passed away), and tragedy struck again when her 6 year old son passed away from cancer a few months ago. Needless to say, she was and still is devastated, and this was the first time she felt like hanging out since the loss of her son.
My other friend, let's call her B, is very traditional and religious, while friend A and myself are not religious at all, but our differing views have never been an issue and we've gotten along just fine with friend B since we met her 4-5 years ago. Friend B has brought up what she believes are the benefits of religion to us a few times in the past, but always dropped the subject when we weren't responsive to it. Neither friend A or I ever held any ill feelings towards her about this as she wasn't too pushy with her beliefs.
On to the situation that took place today. We were listening to friend A pour her heart out and doing our best to console her while being a shoulder to cry on. Friend A, through tears, said, "I don't know what I did wrong in my life to deserve to lose (her husband and son)." Instantly, friend B exclaimed, "Well I can tell you that! You didn't allow God and the Bible into your life, so God punished you for it. Can you blame him?" Friend A just looked at her in awe. I lost it. I yelled at her that what she said was totally uncalled for and unbelievably hurtful. Then I got up, opened the front door, and told her to get the hell out of my house and never contact me again. She tried to backtrack and say that she wasn't trying to be hurtful, but I wasn't having any of it. I yelled again, "Just get out of my house right now. Don't make me throw you out like a piece of trash." She huffed and left. Friend A was bawling at this point, but said thank you. We continued talking and she calmed down after awhile.
Looking back now, I realize that I possibly could've handled the situation better. Both friend A and I never thought friend B would say something like that. Maybe I overreacted, I don't know. AITA?
AITA For Deleting My Friend's Wedding Photos In Front Of Them?
I'm not really a photographer, I'm a dog groomer. I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram, it's "my thing" if that makes sense. A cut and a photo with every appointment. I very seldom shoot things other than dogs even if I have a nice set up.
A friend got married a few days ago and wanting to save money, asked if I'd shoot it for them. I told him it's not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn't care if they were perfect: they were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10 hour event.
On the day of, I'm driving around following the bride as she goes from appointment to appointment before the ceremony, taking photos along the way. I shoot the ceremony itself, and during the reception I'm shooting speeches and people mingling. I started around 11 am and was due to finish around 7:30 pm. Around 5 pm, food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be the photographer; in fact, they didn't save me a spot at any table. I'm getting tired and at this point kinda regretting doing this for next to nothing. It's also unbelievably hot; the venue is in an old veteran's legion and it's like 110F and there's no AC.
I told the groom I need to take off for 20 minutes to get something to eat and drink. There's no open bar or anything, I can't even get water and my two water bottles are long empty. He tells me I need to either be the photographer, or leave without pay. With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all the photos I took in front of him and took off saying I'm not his photographer anymore. If I was to be paid $250, honestly at that point I would have paid $250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5 minutes.
Was I the a**hole? They went right on their honeymoon and they've all been off of social media, but a lot of people have been posting on their wall asking about photos with zero responses.
AITA For Wearing The 'Joke' Bikini My Friend Got Me?
So it was my birthday couple months ago. Had a party. Got some gifts. My friend "Mandy" bought me a "super cute bikini." I liked it. Said thanks. She had ripped the tags off but whatever.
Anyway. Went to the community pool with my roommate. Wore bikini. Got in the water. Roommate immediately is like, "Uhm girl"... I look and see that this bikini is now kinda see through. Haha good joke Mandy.
Anyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her BF and a few others. Most leave and we're still hanging out. I'm like hey, what if we get in your hot tub? I go change after them and meet her BF in the hot tub as she's getting new drinks. I hop in. Immediately, he's looking at my chest. I pretend I don't notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few minutes after and just looks in shock. Eventually gets in. "Uhh is that the one I bought?" "Yeah I love it. I wear it everywhere." Make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. and she's just like, "Oh."
We're in the tub for 20-30 minutes. Eventually get out and change. She approached me after and was like, "Uhm I'm sorry thought you'd notice. But it goes kinda see through." I'm like yeah I know why'd you buy me a f*cking see-through bathing suit? She's like, "It's a joke. Wait you knew? So you just spent last 30 minutes flashing my BF on purpose?" I reply I'm just wearing my birthday gift from her.
Anyway. AITA?
AITA For Asking My Friend To Give Back A Gift I Gave Her?
I (27 F) have been friends with this girl (well call her Mary- 28 F) since high-school. Recently I was back in our hometown and she invited me to her birthday brunch to celebrate her 28th b-day. One day on my way home I happened to stumble across an estate sale where I found a set of really nice, crystal champagne glasses that were in really good condition and cheaper than their worth. Mary lives a high quality fancy lifestyle, so I thought they would be perfect for her, especially because they were within my budget (at the time I had been recovering from student loans and just put down a deposit on my first apartment in the city).
Fast forward to the brunch, we had a really good time and I got to catch up with Mary and other friends from high school. Mary was eager to open the presents, and when she got to mine, she seemed to enjoy them, asking me where I got them since there was no label. I explained that I didn't know the brand, but the person running the estate sale had assured me that they were authentic and had been a wedding gift to the previous owners. At the mention of the estate sale, Mary became visibly disgusted. Although she didn't say anything to my face, she was very passive aggressive towards me for the rest of the afternoon. I overheard her whispering to some of the other guests about how I had the audacity to give her a used item and that she would be discarding them later.
After the event was over, I approached her privately, not wanting to make a scene and asked that if she wasn't going to use the glasses, if she could give them back as I would put them to good use and know their quality. She flipped out and told me it was extremely rude to ask for them back and it was not my business what she did with them.
My family is understanding and thinks that I did nothing wrong, but some mutual friends also at the event think otherwise. So, am I the a-hole?
AITA For Going To The Police Over A 'Prank'?
To preface this, I (24F) am vegan, and have been for a good 10 years. I have not eaten meat since I was roughly 3-4 years old when I found out where meat comes from (spoiler alert: there were a lot of tears). This is no secret and everyone in my life knows and respects this - or so I thought.
Four nights ago, I was at a party and I will admit, I got white girl wasted. My friends thought it would be funny to feed me chicken nuggets as a prank. I checked with them before chowing down - "Are these vegan?" To which my friends replied, "Yeah, they're sunfed" (a type of vegan chickenless chicken). They tasted off to me but I figured it was just because I was drunk. I was wrong.
I found out the next day when my sister sent me a message telling me to check my friend's Snapchat story. The story was them showing the nugget packaging, and then showing them giving them to me (including the conversation where I asked if it was vegan). And then later them mocking me and pretending to be me when I found out I ate meat (things like fake crying and yelling "the CHICKENS!!!"). I took a screen recording of the video and took it to the police, on the grounds of food tampering, and now 3 of my (ex) friends are facing charges.
They all think that I'm overreacting to a "harmless" prank, so AITA? In my view, they took advantage of my drunken state, tampered with my food, and publicly humiliated me. In their view, it was just a prank.
AITA For Kissing My Friend's Brother Without His Consent?
Yesterday I was supposed to spend the night at my friend's house with some of my classmates and we were playing truth or dare. There really is no reason for us to choose truth since we already know a lot about each other so we mostly went just with dares. It was pretty fun and we had some weird challenges.
I was staying next to my friend's brother and when it was my turn a classmate challenged me to kiss him. His sister immediately told my friend to change the dare and so she did. To be clear, her brother did not say anything when he heard the dare and just laughed so he definitely looked like he was okay with it right? Well WRONG because after I kissed him he told me WTF am I doing and looked like he was really grossed out by it. I was honestly a bit offended and asked him why he is so grossed out by me kissing him, I am actually a pretty okay looking girl and even if I wasn't, there was no reason for him to act like this. He ended up leaving the game and my friend told me that what I did was wrong on so many levels and to get out of her house. My other classmates didn't say anything so I think they were on my side but didn't want to participate in this argument (I will ask them when they go back home). Anyways I did end up leaving. Do you guys think I was the a**hole here?
AITA If I Tell A Close Family Friend That Her Husband Cheated On Her?
A couple days ago me and my brother were hanging out late night doing regular guy things - drinking, watching sports, etc. We haven't seen each other in maybe 5-6 years so naturally we started talking about life and what's been going on the past few years. Towards the end of our conversation we started to get to the "secrets." I mentioned something along the lines that I smoked weed for the first time and did various other substances (this was hard for me to tell because my whole life I was pretty much anti-drugs and such). We both laughed about it, saying, "Just don't let Mom find out."
The joke died out after a little bit and then he just blurted out, "I cheated on my wife..." At first it didn't register until I saw his face and he was dead serious. I for one hate cheaters, but I try to do my best not to judge anyone for their actions. He begins explaining this was something that happened about 4 years ago when his wife was always busy with work. She would travel a lot and be away for weeks at a time. He told me they were going through a tough time back then - lots of arguing, not communicating, and that he felt really lonely. During this same time my brother met a girl at his local gym, started off as friends, slowly kept bonding and you guessed they had sex. He told me this occasion only happened once and he pretty much cut her off after that night because he started to feel guilty after a short while. Few months later his relationship turned for the better for him and his wife. Pretty much after his wife's travels slowed down his whole relationship has been great. They've both gotten promotions, bought a house, more family vacations (they have a kid). He told me life has been good to him now and he's just thankful things have finally worked out.
As stated before I hate cheaters and I've always felt that the person being cheated on always has the right to know. I know for sure this would probably destroy their marriage and there would be a fight for the kid. My heart tells me I have to tell her because it's the right thing to do, especially because I've known my brother to cheat one other time on an ex-girlfriend couple years before his current wife. My brain tells me it's none of my business and I should keep my mouth shut. I don't want to see their kid go through that kind of pain either. On one hand I betray my brother if I say something; on the other hand I betray our close family friend because I know this secret and I don't say anything. I wish he never told me, ignorance is truly bliss. So there it is - WIBTA if I said something?
AITA For Snapping At My Friend Who Keeps Ditching Me Because I Now Have A Child?
Just over two years ago, I (f29) unexpectedly got pregnant and now have a beautiful 18 month old daughter, Ciara. Over that time my friends circle got considerably smaller but my best friend remained, Mia (f31). Mia doesn't have kids nor wants kids but she's been brilliant with Ciara.
I'm a SAHM and obviously don't have as much time to hang out as I did previously. Mia and I live on the same street (we're in Manchester, England) and it's a walking distance between our houses. I've told Mia numerous times that she can just pop in whenever she wants to (she works from home) but she rarely does. She did at the beginning but it's been happening less and less. Instead, she keeps suggesting we go out for coffee or pizza or even a drink but I don't have the time and always just tell her to come over and we'll have coffee at my place.
She asked if I wanted to go out with her and her other friends for a drink last weekend but I said that no but she's welcome to come over and we'll have a few drinks at mine. She said she already had plans and it felt weird to drink when she knows there's a child around.
Honestly, I feel neglected. I feel like she put me on a back burner and doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'm always available but she rarely comes over and I don't think that's fair.
Today, I saw her photos from Saturday night out and I was fuming. She ditched me just so she could go and drink like she's 20 again. I felt rejected and horrible, I thought we were best friends but she clearly doesn't value me when she won't even have a few drinks with me at my house.
When she finished work, she called and asked if I fancied going for coffee to town but I asked her to come over again. She said yes but before she disconnected, I heard her mumble "like always." This really annoyed me.
When she came over, I decided to be open about everything. And while not my proudest or most mature moment, I shouted at her that she's an awful friend, that she barely comes over and if she doesn't want to spend time with me to just say it and stop playing around. She said she's always been accommodating but it's been 2 years and she doesn't want to spend time with me when there's always a kid, especially now when she has to watch her language (Mia likes to swear).
I said that she knew I had a child and responsibilities. And she said that Tom (my partner) could take care of Ciara once in a while so I could have a time off. This felt really intrusive and I told her to mind her own business and not meddle on my marriage. I was really angry with her and kicked her out. She called me a selfish a**hole on her way out.
Normally, I would expect her to call by now with apologies but she hasn't done so and I'm starting to wonder: was I the a**hole or was she? Perhaps I was too harsh and should've been more careful with discussing it.