STOP THE PRESSES AND HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU CAN, PEOPLE! BECAUSE WHAT WE’RE GOING TO TELL YOU TODAY ISN’T SOME GOSSIP, IT’S THE PURE AND TERRIFYING TRUTH THAT THOSE AT THE TOP WANT TO HIDE FROM US!
NATIONAL RED ALERT: IF YOU, YOUR BOSS, YOUR BUDDY, OR EVEN THE DOG WENT FOR YOUR “DOSE OF FREEDOM,” PREPARE FOR TERROR! THE “SEE MORE” THAT CHILLED YOUR BLOOD HAS FINALLY BEEN REVEALED, AND IT’S WORSE THAN YOU IMAGINED IN YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES.
Oh my goodness! May God have mercy on us, Mexico City residents and fellow countrymen from all over the Republic! I’m sure your hearts skipped a beat too when you saw that cursed notification on your phone. The one that spread like wildfire on social media, that image with a background of an American hospital and letters that looked like a death sentence: “COVID vaccinated individuals may be sick…See more” .
Didn’t you feel a pit in your stomach? Didn’t your finger tremble before you pressed that devilish button? We all thought the same thing: “What are they going to tell us now? That we’re going to grow a third eye? That they’re going to control us with 5G?” Well, no, my friends! I wish it were just one of those crazy conspiracy theories the internet makes up!
We, who aren’t afraid of success or big-time pharmaceutical companies, got to the bottom of it. We bypassed information blockades, spoke with nurses who tremble as they recount what they see on night shifts, and with dissenting doctors who are fed up with being silent. And today, right here and now, we’re going to tell you what the hell was behind those three dots the government doesn’t want you to read.
If you got vaccinated, if you trusted them, if you put your arm out there for “the common good,” sit down and have a double tequila, because the full story is as follows:
“COVID VACCINATED INDIVIDUALS MAY BE FACING AN IRREVERSIBLE CELLULAR DEGENERATION PROCESS KNOWN IN THE MEDICAL UNDERGROUND AS ‘PHANTOM CLOT SYNDROME’ THAT COULD CAUSE THEM TO KILL THEMSELVES OVERNIGHT WITHOUT WARNING.”
Holy shit! You read that right, folks! We were ripped off, and now it turns out the cure could be worse than the disease!
CHRONICLE OF A DEADLY DECEPTION: IT’S NOT “LONG COVID,” IT’S THE PICKET THAT’S PICKING YOU UP WITH IT!
Remember Don Regino, the taco vendor on the corner who was always on the ball, working his magic with the spit of al pastor? Well, Don Regino was one of the first in line. “We have to take care of ourselves, young man,” he told me, wearing his SpongeBob face mask. He put on the first layer, the second layer, and even the extra layer of the extra layer.
Today, Don Regino can no longer even carry the knife.
“Look, journalist,” she told me yesterday in a subdued voice, showing me an arm that looked like a sausage, covered in strange bruises that appear out of nowhere. “It feels like spiders are crawling inside my veins. I get tired just from walking up the sidewalk. I went to the clinic and they told me it was ‘post-pandemic stress.’ Pure nonsense! I was as healthy as an ox before they injected me with that devilish liquid.”
And like Don Regino, there are thousands! Haven’t you noticed that Aunt Chona suddenly had an inexplicable fainting spell? Or that Cousin Brayan, who was an athlete, collapsed on the futsal field? Open your eyes, you bastards!
These are not coincidences. The underground reports we’ve managed to intercept (the ones the elite media keep under lock and key to avoid losing their million-dollar sponsorships) speak of a brutal increase in cases of myocarditis, sudden thrombosis in young people, and chronic fatigue that leaves you completely exhausted
THE DIRTIEST SECRET: WHAT DID THEY REALLY PUT INTO US?
Here’s the real kicker, the meat of the matter. Our insiders assure us that the doses that arrived in “third world” countries like ours had an “extra ingredient.” They weren’t the same ones Hollywood stars or white-collar politicians took. They used us as guinea pigs, damn it!
There’s talk of experimental nanoparticles designed to… get this!… react months or years later. It’s like a biological time bomb we’re carrying around.
Why do you think they’re suddenly claiming there’s “excess mortality” due to unknown causes? What unknown causes, you bunch of cynics! They’re the side effects they swore to us on the Virgin Mary didn’t exist.
The symptoms of this new ailment that plagues those who have been injected are terrifying because they are silent. It starts with pricking sensations in the chest, then your hands go numb, you feel a mental fog that makes it impossible to even add two plus two, and your blood… oh, dear God! They say the blood starts to thicken, like tar.
WE WERE FOOLED AND NOW WE HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE!
Our outrage is palpable. We trusted science, we trusted they wanted to save us, and now it turns out the cure is costing us dearly.
What can we do? That’s the million-dollar question!
The official doctors will tell you you’re crazy, they’ll prescribe paracetamol and send you home. Don’t believe them! If you were one of the brave (or naive) ones who put your arm out, you have to be as alert as a hawk.
WARNING SIGNS YOU SHOULDN’T IGNORE IF YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN VACCINATED:
Your heart is dancing cumbia for no reason: If you’re sitting watching TV and suddenly your heart feels like it’s going to jump out of your mouth, watch out!
Headaches that won’t go away: It’s not a hangover, buddy. If you feel like your temples are being drilled day and night, get checked out.
Phantom bruises: If you wake up looking like Canelo beat you up and you don’t remember getting hit, your blood is crying out for help.
Zombie-level fatigue: If you used to be able to party until 6 AM and now you’re nodding off at 8 PM, something is wrong with your system.
THE CALL TO ACTION: WE WILL NOT BE GIVEN UP!
Guys, this isn’t meant to make you panic (well, maybe a little), it’s meant to get you moving. Demand real tests. Don’t settle for “you’re fine.” Get D-dimer tests, check your blood clotting, go to doctors who aren’t afraid to tell the truth.
That “See more” was a warning from fate. They tried to censor the truth, but the truth always comes to light, even if it smells rotten.
Share this before the internet censors take it down! Pass it on to your family, your friends, that gossipy neighbor. Let all of Mexico know about the bombshell we’re carrying! Enough with the lies! If we’re going to kick the bucket, at least let’s know what it was from!
We’ll keep you posted… if we’re around tomorrow morning. Watch your backs, and above all, watch your hearts, because it seems like that’s the first thing they want to break!